Extrovert, introvert or both?

Just a quick blog post on a conversation today that got me thinking … when we are growing up we’re told we are either extroverted or introverted. So which are you? Or have you never felt that you fit into one category? Well .. it turns out, you can be both.

When I was younger I was 100% an extrovert, it was plain to see. I was an outgoing, bubbly girl, usually good in social situations. I preferred being around people to being alone, I could chat to absolutely anyone.

I always wondered why I am not that person anymore. Well .. I am at times. Mainly when drunk!! But definitely not all the time. I can still very much come across as that outgoing, confident, friendly girl, but half the time, or maybe even more than that, unless I’m tipsy or absolutely blind drunk .. i’m feeling super awkward deep down. I cannot STAND small talk. I’ll do it when I’m forced, to but deep down I am dying inside.

As I’ve gotten older when I’ve heard people talking about being extroverted or introverted, I stopped calling myself an extrovert, like I had used to. I just started saying that I was an introverted extrovert, as I related to certain aspects of both … but little did I realise, this was actually a thing. I kinda grew up thinking and hearing you were one or the other.

I never really thought too much into it and it’s been a while since having a conversation like that, however, during a chat today, I described myself as a bit of contradiction. I said something along the lines of, “I hate contradictions .. but I feel like I myself, am one. I’m very honest, direct and open. I love being around people, a lot .. at times. But at the same time, I can be awkward, have social anxiety, HATE small talk, and really just need to be alone”.

So .. I decided to look into it. Surely if you have both traits you don’t have to be boxed into one category, and OF COURSE you don’t!!

When I first started researching, the site I found called someone with the traits of an extrovert and introvert an, “Omnivert”, but I’m since seeing the word “Ambivert” more and more since reading about it.

I found the below online, just a simple quick description of each category of personality.

(Source: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ambivert/ )

It might not be that interesting to anyone else, but it’s something I definitely found interesting and something I never knew about, so I wanted to share this.

I personally think my traits have changed and combined with both sides due to ups and downs in my life. I get some people never change and they are just blatantly one way or another, no mater what. But for me, I think anxiety kicking in, betrayals .. and just growing up in general has put me somewhere in the middle.

Thanks for reading this little gibberish blog.. maybe you’re an ambivert like me and you never realised until now! YOU ARE WELCOME. 😉

Confessions of a crazy ex part 2

We are all a bit crazy somewhere deep down, everyone has certain insecurities, or trust issues, and things like this drive us to do things we aren’t proud of. Especially when we are hurting.

As a child I experienced someone else acting out of emotion, first hand. I was in a car around at around 5 years old, with a family member, sitting outside their ex’s house. We sat and watched as my family member sent taxi’s and pizzas (pay on delivery) to their ex’s address. I thought it was really funny and didn’t really understand why we were doing it at the time. But now understand this was done out of pure hurt. Almost a revenge thing.

One thing I did, which was completely out of order and I don’t feel good about it, backfired for me in the end anyway. I went to amazon on my phone to look for something, and realised I was still logged into my ex’s account. I should have just logged out, but no.

When I realised I was on their account, I remembered a story a friend had told me, about still having her ex’s login and checking his orders every so often. She saw on the orders one day, that he had sent someone a bottle of her favourite perfume .. and it wasn’t her. Awkward.

So I automatically thought of this .. then thought, “oh my god.. what if there’s more to the breakup than I know?” And went to the order section. But nope .. nothing. I was relieved if I’m honest, and was just kind of flicking around the tabs. I didn’t think there would be anything else on amazon to look at … but then I noticed a tab that lets you look at every single thing you’ve ever asked “Alexa”!!!!!

Could I resist and just log out??No .. I couldn’t. I looked through it, which I know is really not ok. It’s no better than looking through someone’s internet history. It’s private! But I did look .. I was curious to see what they had been searching for, or listening to since we had split up … it was all really innocent but one thing that I noticed was a song that had been requested over 30 times, in about a week. It was “Mike and the mechanics – Over my shoulder”.

I thought it was weird as although, yeah it’s a banger. It was never anything my ex used to listen to. So I looked at the lyrics. After reading them, I got a bit choked up and really believed that my ex was regretting the breakup. I had convinced myself just from the lyrics of this song, that they were still in love with me, like I was with them! But assumed they weren’t telling me because it had gone too far and they just couldn’t go back.

I figured they were really struggling with the breakup, and so they listened to songs like this that they related to, and dealt with these feelings privately. (Well .. not privately anymore)

I did contact them and tell them pretty much straight away. Not well received obviously, but understandable. And it was a case of they just really liked the song. They were not in love with me. So I learnt that not only did I completely over step the mark by looking at something private, I hurt them .. and hurt myself more in the long run as this caused my mind to run away. Over think the entire thing, and also get this relief feeling as I had assumed and concluded that they still loved me, and I guess just knowing that they were listening to this song gave me this overwhelming feeling of hope and relief. I figured that if they felt like this, we would work it out soon. But I was wrong. So the moment I addressed it, and was told just how wrong I was, crushed that hope and relief, and took me back to the place of heartbreak.

Completely my fault. Crazy, heartbroken driven actions!

On the flip side, I had an ex who cheated on me when I was 16, so I ended it. For weeks he would call loads, write letters, and even threatened his life, in order to try and get me back. He called and said he was walking through a river and would drown himself if I wouldn’t talk to him. So basically .. he cheated on me, got caught .. lost me .. then tried to manipulate me into talking to him and forgiving him. Savage.

I also had another ex who was convinced I was still in love with them, even though I had ended it and never once attempted to get back with them after. I never even thought about them, or spoke about them. Then years later I hear they’ve told an elaborate story about how I’ve been trying to get at them. Like the dumbest things, like I tried to ruin their wedding day because I was in the same pub as them that night. Who goes to a pub on their wedding day anyway? And how was I meant to know that? I’m not mystic meg!! There were a few other things they came out with but just so, so ridiculous.

I asked for people to tell me what they had done to their ex’s, and I would post anonymously.. so here they are!!

One person told me that they had sent their ex a message, if they clicked on the link in the message, she would gain access to everything on her ex’s phone in a viewing mode (scary?!!)

So not only did she send him this link .. it was when they were still together, so whilst he slept she sent it to him. Then she clicked on it giving herself access. Then deleted the message. So he would never know. She learnt that he was cheating on her and she could never tell him how she knew, as she would have to admit to basically hacking his phone!! 🙈

One person told me that they found out that their ex had cheated on them, so they kicked the bumper of their ex’s car, which happened to be their pride and joy. It left a dent, and whilst the ex suspected it was her, she never came clean and there was no proof. LOL

I had a few messages telling me that they prank called their ex’s a lot just to piss them off. Mainly just calling and hanging up when they answered. This seemed to be a popular one.

One person also told me that they had suspicions that their boyfriend at the time was cheating. He was constantly on his phone, and anytime she would pick it up he would snatch it back. One night he had a headache, so she gave him co codamol which completely knocked him out. She took the opportunity to go through his WhatsApp, but was so scared he would wake up, that she linked his phone WhatsApp to her laptop version of WhatsApp, so that she could read all without him catching her. She was right, endless messaging with multiple girls.

Sometimes our suspicions are so bang on, and finding out that you were right, makes the way you found out, a lot less crazy than it would have been, had you have been wrong!!

Another person told me that they continued to use their ex’s card which was stored on their phone, for months before they realised. And out of guilt for him cheating on her, he asked her to stop but never asked for the money back.

So this one wasn’t sent to me .. but I remember a girl at school posted maggots through her ex boyfriend’s letter box. So gross.

So most of the stories have been about what females have done to their male ex’s. On the flip side .. men do things too, however I find it to be more savage, but maybe that’s because I’m a woman!

One person told me that they got back with their ex girlfriend, after she cheated on him. Just so they could cheat on her … with her mate. Ouch.

Another person has told me that their ex boyfriend slashed their tyres after she ended things. Moooody.

Not only have I experienced a guy threatening suicide to get me back, someone else has contacted me and told me that they were threatened with suicide .. but for a different reason. The they got pregnant with their ex. Their ex didn’t want the baby and attempted to talk her into an abortion, I have seen the messages. They are very, very manipulative. And when they didn’t work, he told her that if she kept the baby, it would cause him depression and to end his life. I have no words for this. I commend the girl for staying strong and not buckling under this pressure and doing what was right for her.

Another separate person told me that their ex boyfriend crashed their car into a lamppost when she ended things. And threatened to end his life a few times.

See what I mean though? We all get driven so hard by emotions and betrayal at times. We can act completely out of the ordinary and do things we end up being ashamed of … or things that are so stupid it’s laughable for years later 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 depends which route you went down I suppose.

Thank you to everyone who trusted me to share their stories with me, and for really making this blog exactly what I had envisioned. Really appreciate it.